Written 2/18/21 February - I would be delighted if this month never existed. In reality it’s the shortest of the year, but each day can feel tormenting to walk through...this week in particular. 2/18/10 was the day we found out those 2 little ones we planned to adopt would never be ours. The room we had made in our hearts would remain empty. The crib empty. The clothes newly washed and hanging were packed back into tubs. Closet and drawers empty. Dreams lost. Hearts shattered. 2/16/17 was Miriam’s due date. Instead of snuggling and breathing in a fresh babe our perfect girl lay cradled in dirt. She would have been 4 this year...4. It’s the first year Kai didn’t remember...didn’t ask to make her birthday cupcakes or take her flowers. I didn’t remind him. His little heart needs to heal and move on. As her mom, I’ll never forget. Even though I move forward a part of my heart was lost, and I will never be the same. 2/1...