God's Gifts

...She's gone...  Three years ago today, she left those that dearly loved her and flew into the arms of the one who loves her more.  It never ceases to amaze me the things that come to mind when someone passes away.  It's never the big things, but rather the everyday moments that go unnoticed.  A hug.  A mischievous grin (that unveiled what they were thinking).  Eyes filled with compassion for a broken heart.  Laughter.  Tears. Quirky mannerisms that I never gave a second thought too. Sharing a bowl of cereal. The little things...

 

It's strange, how we strive to obtain perfection in our lives.  Thinking that will bring happiness.  The perfect vacation, job, house, marriage, children. We continually reach for the next best thing.  Once we get it, THEN we'll be happy.  Driven.  Always, driven. But never satisfied.  Forgetting to treasure what is right before us.  We become discontent when things don't go our way. Sometimes angry.  Angry with circumstance.  Angry with others.  Angry with God.  How ungrateful we become.  How ungrateful I become, even with my children.  Some days are utter chaos and the  weariness of it all can be overwhelming.  But I wonder...if I lost my children...what would I remember?   Would I reflect with a smile at the spilled milk,  muddy footprints scattered across the newly mopped floor,  dirty socks in the freezer, and the noise that at times can seem deafening?  Yes.   The dearest thing to my heart would be those very memories that I all too often name as stressful inconvenience.  Then I wonder... if my children lost me... what would they remember?  Would it be sweet? Or would it be memories of impatience, hurried schedules and frustration? 


Each day God gives us opportunities to write on the hearts of those he places in our path. It's an awesome gift but a heavy responsibility. Our words and actions are woven like threads through the tapestry of their lives whether we want them to be or not.  Thankfully, we get to choose what is written. 

Recently, I was reminded of what a real friend is and is not.  My heart has ached with loneliness these last three years and I've tried to fill the void with those that called themselves my 'friends' but they only brought hurt.  I was never alone. God was always right there to be everything I needed!  But I, in my foolishness, pushed Him away and reached only for the tangible. An amazing young woman that I admire wrote a blog post a few weeks ago entitled What is a Friend?  As I read-I cried- that was the friendship I lost.  That was her mother. But I am not alone because that is the friendship I will always have with Jesus. He will never leave or forsake me! And He has given me other dear friends. The loss still tears at my heart... but the gift of memories...is mine forever.


What I'm learning is that life is fleeting.  No one is promised tomorrow. So live in the fullness of today.  Tell others how much they mean to you...Love like today may be the last.   Hold close the people that matter and don't concern yourself with the criticism of those that don't.  Forgive. Don't waste time worrying about perfection (You'll never possess it anyway).  Let go... and enjoy the dance.  Even if the moment is in complete disarray, don't take it for granted, or hold it with resentment, rather reach out gently and cling to it tightly before it passes.  And remember to only write on the heart, those things you want to last a lifetime.  

"Friendship is a sweet responsibility never an opportunity."
   Kahlil Gibran


Until Next time...

       

Jessie