He Always Shows Up

Pulling the door closed, I had stepped out of the comforts of my home into the chilly night.  The journey ahead unclear.  I drove for what seemed an eternity still with many miles ahead.  The path was dark. The crescent shimmer suspended in the black, lit only a few steps before me.  Looking closer at the night light - I could see the outline of it's whole but it had been eclipsed in darkness...all but this one sliver.  There was one...many steps ahead...and one... many steps behind but in the middle of this stretch it was only me.

Alone.

I began to sing.  Sing out at the top of my lungs.

Peace settled my heart.

I understand this physical journey is parallel to my spiritual one.  This path He has ask me to walk has not been easy.  Unclear at times with only enough light for the next step.

Sometimes not even that.

Darkness.

Pure darkness that required a step of faith.

He always caught me.

In Him I've become whole.  Yet, darkness tries to overshadow His light.  I see those with great faith ahead... and those behind that frequently stumble like me... but on this path where I am...no one.

Just me.

I understand that is how He has planned it.  How else can He be everything if I still have someone else to lean upon?  Many nights I have wrestled with Him over this.

Still I am kept in this place.

As Christians we say it all the time...God is all I need...He's my everything.  Years ago my heart wanted this but I knew it wasn't really true.  Not for me.  I loved God.  I also wanted and needed so many other things... so many other people.  My heart cried out "Teach me what it is for YOU to be MY everything."  I didn't really understand what I was praying.  If I had... I don't think I would have had the courage to pray for it.  He has been a faithful teacher.  It has hurt.  It has been lonely.  And I have learned of His indescribable love for ME! 

It has been worth every painful moment.

I'm getting closer now.  Blackness has become silhouettes set against the midnight sky.  Dawn begins to break. Slowly.  As if she's in a long stretched yawn.  The snow-capped mountains glisten and the topography is clear.  So is my purpose.

Before a room of girls... I stood hoping He would show up.  He did.  As always.

The conference was amazing!  Six speakers - all with the same message.  Same verses. Delivered in different ways but complete continuity.  None of us had spoken to each other before-hand and none of us had anything prepared before Thursday.  The presence of Jesus was definitely there and we all knew it.  The girls were awesome!  The group leaders and ladies from the church were gracious, kind, genuine and made us feel very welcomed.  They even pampered us all with a special tea that afternoon.  It was truly a wonderful time!  I believe God did a work in every heart that was there.  I know he did mine.  Thank you again for your prayers and encouragement!

Until then...
Jessie