Skip to main content

Amazing Love

One writes me - her heart aches as she looks into the precious face of her injured child only to see marks of imperfection...

A friend sobs - Her marriage broken.  Desperately grasping at pieces but her dreams are shattered...

A father, filled with regret - still too fearful...too proud... to open his heart and restore the relationship with his son...

A mother, weeps for the baby ripped from her womb...now cradled within the dirt.  Another kisses her child's coffin after he pushed a shotgun to his head...

I listen...I weep...no words.  Wounds.  Deep, bleeding wounds.

In time they will become scars.

ALL humanity has been broken.

Some carry scars on the outside, others are imprinted upon the heart.  They're ugly.  We hide them the best we can.  Why?  Why do we hide behind a phony mask - pretend they don't exist?  Why do we view the scars of life as something bad?  Perhaps, we think they show weakness...failure.

We want perfection.  We strive for it.  And when expectations go unmet we become angry.

I remember the soft, smooth skin of a newborn.  I wanted so desperately for my children to stay perfect...unscathed by the cruelty of this life.  Perfect.  Then - then a skinned knee, a broken heart, shattered dreams.  Living...Loving...Learning...had marred what I wanted for them.

Our choices, our sin, have marred God's perfect creation.  Is that why we constantly strive for the illusion?  For deep within our soul we know we were made for so much more?  He wanted so desperately for us to stay perfect...unscathed.  We chose something different.  Now we must accept this world as fallen.  We don't - you know.  We don't accept the consequence of humanities rebellion. This isn't the way it's suppose to be!

We scream.  Beg.  Wrestle.  We doubt God's goodness.

Betrayal cuts clean through...sickness rages on...loved ones die...life is unfair...unjust.

Where is God in all of this?

Why would a loving God allow such suffering?

Why doesn't He just step in and fix it?

I don't know.

I'm not God.

I can not see the whole picture.

Why did He let His son suffer on a cross for those who hated Him?

 He loves us.

We wince at scars yet it's the scars of Jesus that have set us free.  The marks in His wrists, feet, side and back...it's those same agonizing scars that inked in blood His love for me...for you.  Unfathomable brutality...became beauty.  The scars we carry from this life, visible or etched upon the slate of our hearts can also be turned into beauty.  Each one tells a story - a story of love, grace, forgiveness and Christ - if we choose to see.  The promise was never that we wouldn't walk through the valley but that when we did, He would never leave us. 

This I know - God is good ALL the time.  He loves me.  He loves me SO much that He gave his son to save me.  So I can trust that He is NEVER going to allow anything into my life unless it is good.  Though the pain of this life weighs heavy... if I trust Him... He will turn my ashes into beauty.  And He will do the same for you.

Until then...
Jessie
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Invisible Monster

May 23, 2020, I woke to a miracle surrounding a loved one. Later, I sat in the gardens watching butterflies perch upon lavender lilacs while my Sweet Shalom giggled and chased after them. It had been a perfect day. The air was warm, but the skies overcast like a storm was about to roll in.   Life changes quickly...    The message flashed on the screen.        Wait - he's gone? Dear...I don't know what to call you, I've always wondered, with the slamming of the prison door, did you know what your choices would cost your children? Did you care?  My grandpa knew you as a kid. He was your pastor, said your parents were good people. He said you were a good kid too, but somewhere along the journey you lost your way.    You lost your way... and I was one of many that paid for your choices.      One of my last visits with you left me with a shoulder injury. The physical pain is a reminder that children should never have to v...
Post a Comment
Read more

Light Always Wins

 I was seven when I stepped foot into the Tel Aviv Airport accompanied by my stepdad - a Palestinian. The Israeli soldiers stood armed as they ripped through each of our suitcases, pulled my dad into a room for questioning, and detained us for several hours. We were not there as tourists. We were on our way to Jericho to visit family... but we were the enemy. Even at seven the hatred between all was undeniable. As a child I did not comprehend fully but I remember...fear. Walking the roads of that country for a month is an experience I will never forget. I remember once being at a family member's home while they argued over who was right, the Jews or Palestinians. I remember the tears, the anger, and shouting. I can't recall most of the words spoken that day. I don't know whose argument was stronger. What I do know is...what the Bible says about God's chosen people, and that in war... no one wins...even when it is necessary there is always suffering for both sides. The J...
Post a Comment
Read more
 Written 2/18/21 February - I would be delighted if this month never existed. In reality it’s the shortest of the year, but each day can feel tormenting to walk through...this week in particular.    2/18/10 was the day we found out those 2 little ones we planned to adopt would never be ours.  The room we had made in our hearts would remain empty.  The crib empty.  The clothes newly washed and hanging were packed back into tubs. Closet and drawers empty. Dreams lost.  Hearts shattered. 2/16/17 was Miriam’s due date. Instead of snuggling and breathing in a fresh babe our perfect girl lay cradled in dirt.  She would have been 4 this year...4.  It’s the first year Kai didn’t remember...didn’t ask to make her birthday cupcakes or take her flowers.  I didn’t remind him.  His little heart needs to heal and move on.  As her mom, I’ll never forget. Even though I move forward a part of my heart was lost, and I will never be the same. 2/1...
Post a Comment
Read more