Skip to main content

Do You Need An Exterminator

It was my Thirtieth birthday and my mom wanted to take me out for a night on the town.  After hours of shoe shopping we had worked up some hearty appetites.  So, with bags in hand we made our way to our favorite little Mexican restaurant.  We shared those belly laughs while enjoying every bite. Until...my mom poked at her tostada.  Out from under a ribbon of lettuce a nasty umber colored critter scurried frantically across the table straight towards me!  Immediately my mom began to gag and I shrieked shoving my chair back as if I were being attacked by the creature.  Stunned.  We both watched in horror as our server, void of any emotion, picked up my ice tea and smashed the varmint with the bottom of the glass.  Quietly we sat for a moment until the reality of what just happened washed over us.  Looking up I took one glance at our servers stoic face and erupted with laughter.  Seriously.  At that point what else is there to do.  Needless to say we didn't have to pay for our meal and we never returned.

I wonder...how many times we appear all cleaned up and pretty on the outside...maybe even super spiritual...perhaps we have a great reputation with others...but if we...if I...allowed God to move things around and turn on all the lights of my heart how many roaches would scurry about desperately trying to shrink back into the darkness.

It's so easy to be deceived about my own heart unless I keep the light of His word constantly before me.

This week I was reminded of truth.

I wrote a post last week.  As soon as I hit publish I knew I shouldn't have.  I was angry.  Hurt.  I was being self-righteous and I didn't care.  Others who read it may not have picked up on it.  After all it was a simple story to illustrate a point and nothing I wrote was untrue...but my attitude about the situation person...it was a roach.

For a few days I mulled it over.  The weekend had been filled with distractions but finally the house was still.  Just me and that little one were awake.  While rocking her in the wee hours Jesus grabbed my heart.  I know everything you have ever done.  Everything you have ever thought.  Still I love you.  I bless you.  I gave you that little one in your arms.  I give you mercy and forgiveness.  When are you going to do the same for them?  How long will you make them wait?  When will you do as I commanded...and love?

Recently they had ask forgiveness... for all they are...for all they have been.

BUT

My heart - has been hard.  I didn't want to let them in.  I wanted to protect myself.

I was wrong.

I don't know their heart.  They may be lying.  I'm sure they will hurt me again...they're human.  What I do know - if I do what is right it really doesn't matter what they do because God has my back.  However, if I allow my heart to become cold...if I allow it to be filled with pride and self-righteousness I'll pay the cost.

So... I rewrote the post with what should have been written to begin with. 

Because everyday we all fight our own demons and we're all in need of grace.

Until then
Jessie




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Invisible Monster

May 23, 2020, I woke to a miracle surrounding a loved one. Later, I sat in the gardens watching butterflies perch upon lavender lilacs while my Sweet Shalom giggled and chased after them. It had been a perfect day. The air was warm, but the skies overcast like a storm was about to roll in.   Life changes quickly...    The message flashed on the screen.        Wait - he's gone? Dear...I don't know what to call you, I've always wondered, with the slamming of the prison door, did you know what your choices would cost your children? Did you care?  My grandpa knew you as a kid. He was your pastor, said your parents were good people. He said you were a good kid too, but somewhere along the journey you lost your way.    You lost your way... and I was one of many that paid for your choices.      One of my last visits with you left me with a shoulder injury. The physical pain is a reminder that children should never have to v...
Post a Comment
Read more

Judgment Loomed

As I exited the door my heart was pierced with their animosity.  Hatred and poison spewed from their lips. The savage mob encircled me with no escape.  Screaming just a breath away from my face.  Shoving with such force I was almost knocked to the ground.  Humiliated.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I pushed through the violence.  Once inside my car I began to weep.   Even in the present their vile words reel through my mind.  Beads of sweat began to form in my tightly clinched fists.  Squirming in my chair... biting my lower lip as an attempt to hold it together.  Peering above the Pastor's head as though I was looking at him... knowing if I did I would burst into tears.  That was my experience at church this past Sunday.  To my relief the Pastor spoke words of love, life and truth NOT condemnation.  Healing and refreshing. ...
6 comments
Read more

Farewell Mr. Turkey

It's time to roll up our sleeves and have some fun in the kitchen!  I can't wait for the scrumptious aroma of Thanksgiving dinner to travel through my home like a welcomed guest.  Mmmmm...yummy!  My mouth is waterin' just thinkin' about it. I get a lot of requests for recipes so here are a few that seem to earn a coveted spot on the menu year after year. Gingered Pumpkin-Pear Soup (Great Appetizer) 1/2 cup chopped sweet onion 2 tsp. grated fresh ginger 1Tbsp. butter 3 pears, peeled, cored, and sliced 1 15-oz. can pumpkin (fresh pumpkin is best) 1 1/2 cups vegetable broth 1 cup milk 1/4 cup sour cream 1/2 tsp. finely shredded lime peel 1 Tbsp. lime juice In a large saucepan cook onion and ginger in butter until onion is tender.  Stir in pears; cook 1 minute more.  Stir in pumpkin and broth; heat to boiling.  Reduce heat and simmer, covered, about 5 minutes or until pears are tender.  Cool slightly.  In...
2 comments
Read more