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Soul Tired

When your baby is curled under the barren tree and your soul resembles that tree more than you would like to admit...too many needing...wanting...there's nothing left to give...It becomes easy to drown in the darkness.

When it's Christmas Eve and the house is a mess, there's still shopping left to do, Christmas dinner to prepare, and Gingerbread Men to bake with that chubby little boy who's growing too fast. It's easy to buzz right through the days - through Christmas - and miss everything.

But when I slow down I hear it: His love and blessings for me

Bedtime tickles
The way she pulls me close and smothers my face with tiny kisses
Fairies on pj's... and all the small ways He answered my prayers and brought her close this season
Glass birds
Hugs from that tall one
Knowing he is right behind me...always
The clanging of dishes late in the night - even though he worked all day he's doing the dishes for me at midnight
Truck rides and coffee runs...how I will miss him when he leaves home
Pictures of my grand baby...God's handiwork
His pudgy hands and big squeezy hugs
Holding my babies while reading Christmas stories
Words of life
Friends with character
Breakfast with my precious one...how did she grow into a young lady so fast
My two girls dancing
The way he sings "Awesome God" while shoveling his oatmeal
All our children and grandson will be home for Christmas
Unexpected gifts from her
He loves me even when I'm not lovable
Having him home...life feels right when he's home
Nights spent talking into the wee hours
Even though she's almost as tall as me she still curls into my lap
Homemade vanilla from a friend
Mornings with coffee and Gingerbread Waffles
Clear medical report for my Sweet Chaela Shalom
A love that no darkness can ever destroy
Grace...so much grace

Until then...
Jessie
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