Skip to main content

Soul Tired

When your baby is curled under the barren tree and your soul resembles that tree more than you would like to admit...too many needing...wanting...there's nothing left to give...It becomes easy to drown in the darkness.

When it's Christmas Eve and the house is a mess, there's still shopping left to do, Christmas dinner to prepare, and Gingerbread Men to bake with that chubby little boy who's growing too fast. It's easy to buzz right through the days - through Christmas - and miss everything.

But when I slow down I hear it: His love and blessings for me

Bedtime tickles
The way she pulls me close and smothers my face with tiny kisses
Fairies on pj's... and all the small ways He answered my prayers and brought her close this season
Glass birds
Hugs from that tall one
Knowing he is right behind me...always
The clanging of dishes late in the night - even though he worked all day he's doing the dishes for me at midnight
Truck rides and coffee runs...how I will miss him when he leaves home
Pictures of my grand baby...God's handiwork
His pudgy hands and big squeezy hugs
Holding my babies while reading Christmas stories
Words of life
Friends with character
Breakfast with my precious one...how did she grow into a young lady so fast
My two girls dancing
The way he sings "Awesome God" while shoveling his oatmeal
All our children and grandson will be home for Christmas
Unexpected gifts from her
He loves me even when I'm not lovable
Having him home...life feels right when he's home
Nights spent talking into the wee hours
Even though she's almost as tall as me she still curls into my lap
Homemade vanilla from a friend
Mornings with coffee and Gingerbread Waffles
Clear medical report for my Sweet Chaela Shalom
A love that no darkness can ever destroy
Grace...so much grace

Until then...
Jessie
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Judgment Loomed

As I exited the door my heart was pierced with their animosity.  Hatred and poison spewed from their lips.  Murderer!  Whore!  Baby killer!  You'll rot in Hell for what you did!  Over and over...  The savage mob encircled me with no escape.  Screaming just a breath away from my face.  Shoving with such force I was almost knocked to the ground.  They spat in my hair.  Humiliated.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I pushed through the violence.  Once inside my car I began to weep.   Even in the present their vile words reel through my mind.  Beads of sweat began to form in my tightly clinched fists.  Squirming in my chair... biting my lower lip as an attempt to hold it together.  Peering above the Pastor's head as though I was looking at him... knowing if I did I would burst into tears.  That was my experience at church this past Sunday.  To my relief the Pastor spoke words of love, life and truth NOT condemnation.  Healing and refreshing.  It was the uninvited memories that ha
6 comments
Read more

A New Chapter

It seems like yesterday... I can still remember the moment his bare skin pressed against my chest.  With limbs too exhausted to move - still they found their way to envelope this tiny gift.  "Hi baby, I'm your mom."  With the sound of my voice his face turned to meet mine.  Deep, genuine eyes peered into my soul.  Doctors rushed about as I lay on the table, life draining from my veins, but the atmosphere did not speak of the danger lurking.  For just a moment... as that little guy locked me into his gaze.. all was perfect...Heaven met us both... and in our own world two hearts melted into one.   The room was quiet.  Doctors, family and friends had finally left us alone.  This was the moment I had been waiting for.  Yet I was terrified - terrified that I would fail him.  In silence I sat, fixated on the clear plastic basket that held my heart.  My breath heaved heavy as I picked him up.  Snuggling him between my legs I began to unwind the unending twirl of fleece that
5 comments
Read more

O Christmas Tree...O Christmas Tree Part II

Welcome back!   I hope y'all are having a blast preparing for Christmas.  It can be hard work to get everything done.  Exhausting in fact.  I'm sure you've earned some relaxation time.  So, grab something warm to drink, prop up your feet for a moment and enjoy some time for yourself.  I hope you'll be inspired by what I've done and be challenged to unleash your imagination too. Jessie's Christmas Tour Part II Guests are greeted by an antique sled adorned with boughs and an adorable coat that my sons wore as toddlers. In years past, I've decorated in an elegant fashion.  I love the grandeur and opulence.  However, this year I decided to go with a more down home natural look and I absolutely love it! A simple way to display Christmas cards.   My mother gave me this nativity a few years ago.  It was handed down from my great aunt.   I miss her SO much.  Pulling this out each year makes me feel as though she is still with me.  It also reminds
4 comments
Read more