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She Has A Name

I hear her dancing in the wind...beckoning me to come outside...feel the rain upon my face...but do I dare?

I've watched from the pane as she stood ablaze in autumns glory - slowly letting go of each brilliant hue. Watched while her limbs bent low through the long winter - burdened by the very thing that sustained. Watched while pops of green unfurled - life once again.

I've surveyed from the window, but to go and meet her?
The soil that she feeds upon cradles my child and I can't bring myself to go there.

It's been a year since my baby opened her eyes and looked into the face of Jesus...while I held her tiny frame here on earth.


Miriam Grace.

She has a name.
My name.
The name I was given while in Israel - what my grandparents and family always called me.
Miriam: Bitter, Sea of sorrow, Longed for or wished for child.
Grace: God's favor.

She was God's favor to me. Losing her has been bitter. My heart has been filled with sorrow and longing but God in his mercy has given me grace. To most she is nothing. Born too young, she's not considered a person. Because of this we get to choose where she will sleep. We lay her where she would have played, laughed, dug for rolypolies, made mud pies. Beneath the towering maple, while chimes play the never sung lullabies.

One year ago today, we covered our baby girl in dirt

While I walk this earth my heart will never be the same. Today...I long for my child. I long for that day when the trumpet will sound and all those who sleep will be caught in the sky...all tears will be wiped away.

Until that day, we choose joy. We gather as a family to celebrate life. So, on the one year anniversary of Miriam's birth we have pizza and cake to celebrate that sweet little boy who just turned 4. The one we all adore. For dinner we have cheeseburgers - what I craved every day I carried our perfect Miriam. We smile that she was here...now safe in Heaven...soon we will meet again.

Until then...
Jessie

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